The Mourning of a Friend
I was very saddened by the news of my friend Carol’s loss. Her mom died in the hospital after suffering from a heart attack a few days back. Curious phrase, that "heart attack". It is as if the heart is some sort of a deadly instrument or a dangerous weapon that kills, instead of being a symbol of love and a giver of life. But anyway, I can just imagine the pain & shock of losing a loved one in one’s arms. The picture that entered my mind was the forlorn and mournful image of the Virgin Mary cradling Jesus as He lay lifeless in His mother’s arms. That mental image is so powerful and has deep emotional impact that emotes pain, suffering, and utter sadness, sorrow and desolation. I’m sure, Carol felt the exact same feelings of sadness, sorrow and pain as she talked to her unresponsive mom on her death-bed.
No words we say would comfort and console Carol, or anyone who had experienced the loss of a loved one and watched them suffer til their last dying breath for that matter. But we say them anyway in our weak attempt to console or lessen their pain. My heart truly goes out to them who suffered this way. A few of our friends in a Yahoo group wrote words of comfort to Carol and now I would like to share them with you. To the readers who may be suffering due to a death of a loved one now or in the future, I hope these words will console you as well:
From Karsie (Foo)…
When I Must Leave You
When I must leave you for a little while
Please do not grieve and shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow to you through the years,
But start out bravely with a gallant smile;
And for my sake and in my name
Live on and do all things the same,
Feed not your loneliness on empty days,
But fill each waking hour in useful ways,
Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near;
And never, never be afraid to die,
For I am waiting for you in the sky!
From phimail…
The sun is fading in the west, and I am filled with peace
Because I know, on another shore,
It’s rising in the east.
She, like the sun, slipped away and left us to the night.
But I know, beyond our dark,
She smiles into the light.
From Sean…
I gently spread over Mother’s head
the silver as her years passed by,
The pearls I saved
for the love she gave,
That no treasure on earth can buy.
This is Casper’s contribution. This is a very famous poem about a mother’s death.
do not stand at my grave and weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
From Paolo…
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
And last, but not least, and the one that really touched Carol…
From Caden…
Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven,
and though it must appear
A rather strange idea,
I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit,
your stores to find a card
A card of love for my daughter,
as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought,
I saw every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card,
from a mother who lives in heaven.
She is still my daughter too,
no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands,
but oh the tears she’s cried.
I thought that if I wrote you,
that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now,
I still love my daughter so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me;
we still share laughter too,
Memories are our way of speaking now,
would you see what you could do?
My daughter carries me in her heart,
her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me,
sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden,
there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving daughters,
trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark,
though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way to remind her
of her wondrous worth.
She needs to be honored,
and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark,
I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do;
to you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her,
how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself,
when she joins me in eternity.
Here is an excerpt from Carol’s email regarding her reaction to one of the above poem:
"…im still very numb about the whole thing.. pero after reading all your emails .. i just had to email you guys back.
i loved reading the poem i read about the mom who was already in heaven.. talking to her daughter.. it was like my mom answering me.. coz while she was in her final moments.. in great pain and agony.. i was talking to her.. i talked to her in a way i’ve never done before.. but i couldnt get any response anymore.. she was in a stuperous (spell check na lang po.. hehehe) condition.. so one way communication lang kme.. pero when i read the poem.. i really cried.. in my heart.. (i dont know if you guys have ever felt that.. crying in one’s heart is what i want to call it.. ).. coz everything just all fell into place.. and i got all the answers to the questions i asked… thank you.. im not sure anymore who sent it… THANK YOU!"
Take care, Carol and know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May peace and God be with you always and help you through your pain and mourning.
